Healing

Now, after one year…

We had a memorial in Mick’s honor on May 7^th, 2005. So many friends gathered. It was beautiful. So many gentle and honest sentiments were shared. It warmed and filled my lonely heart.

I am back to work full-time. Moments of utter despair and the aching for my companion come over me at more appropriate times than before. Not in the aisle of an airplane while serving drinks or in the frozen foods section of Trader Joe’s, but at home, alone, lost in thought. Stella, my cat, is good for a comforting cuddle whenever I need.

I am sure people in my life believe I should be healing by now. In many ways it feels like I am slowly inching along. I don’t notice it while it’s occurring, but as I look back, even over a month or two, I see the small steps of progress. I would never have believed one year ago, that my first thought in the morning and my last thought before sleep, would not be of Mick.

Mick’s 48^th birthday is Monday, June 27^th, 2005. We wouldn't have made a big deal of it - he wasn’t much into birthdays.

For me, I would rather mark this day, than the day of his death.

Happy birthday honey, I miss you like crazy.